Thieves' gold
by SloTurtle
Summary: I'm a Truly & Highly Intelligent, Extremely Violent citizen. *Captain America yells 'THIEF'*. Ahem, anyways. I get captured by the evil, the infamous, the awful, Avengers! Can I make it through this job alive? *Cap: Not if I have anything to do with it!* *Throws shoe at Cap.* Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I opened the window carefully. "You in yet?" Garret's loud voice crackled walkie-talkie. "If I was, I would've gotten caught, thanks to you." I mumbled into the radio.

Garret whispered his apologies and I hooked the wire onto the roof and my belt. I slid down the cord slowly, looking for sensors.

My bag slipped a bit off my shoulder, I caught it and grabbed my can of hairspray. I sprayed around, locating the lasers and dodging through them.

I disarmed the security systems and strolled over the jewel exhibit. My glass cutter made a large enough cut for my hand and the jewel to fit out of it quickly.

Once I grabbed the prize, I ran to the door. "If I were you, I would seriously think about stopping to see who has a gun pointed at your head." A woman advised from behind me as I felt something push into the back of my neck.

I slowly raised my hands and spun around. A red haired girl in front of me. "Natasha, darling. Can we pick this up later? I've got a dentist appointment at 6. It's been nice talking with you though, ciao." I glanced at my watch.

Annoyance flashed in Natasha's eyes and I smacked the gun out of her hand. She and I deuced it out for a minute or so, then I got the gun and a hold of her neck.

My fingers clasped around her throat as she gasped for breath. "Q-Quesadilla!" Natasha choked out frantically. My head tilted. 'What the heck is she naming Mexican food for?' I thought.

Solid force crashed into my side, collapsing with me and the gun. I looked up to see a buff guy in tights. "Thanks, Rogers." Natasha croaked, walking up and rubbing her neck.

A man with an eye patch strut in. "Ahoy, Captain Fury. Where's Paulie?" I mumbled as I dusted myself off. "His name is Hawkeye, and he isn't here. I came here with a business offer." He rolled his one good eye.

"What this time?" the enthusiasm drained from my voice. "You have an extreme amount of skill. You also have stolen an extreme amount of valuable objects." Fury pointed at the ruby in my pocket. "You can go to jail and rot there until the end of your days or you can join a project that I've been working on.".

I raised an eyebrow and estimated how many people I could take down. There were about over a hundred guys in here, I could take around fifty. I was way out numbered, so I had no choice.

* * *

Fury and The man in tights escorted me to the large building. "So, Who invited the cheerleader?" I asked, glancing at Fury then at Rogers. Rogers glared at me, but said nothing.

The elevator doors opened as we got to the 9th floor. Rogers had stayed in the lobby, Fury and I stepped out of the elevator.

"This is where everyone works or 'hangs out'." Fury held out his arms and motioned to the room. "What do you need me here for?" I grumbled.

"Well, we need a secretary. Stark's and Banner's file cabinets are a mess." He tossed me some keys. "Good luck.".

I looked around and caught sight of an island in a small kitchen. My feet carried me there mindlessly and I shuffled through the wine shelf.

"Tony will be angry to find that you've been in his drink." A broad shouldered, blonde guy walked up. "Man! Don't tell me I have to babysit too." I groaned in disappointment. "It would lighten the load of that hurt if I knew your name." He said, holding his hand to his chest in fake pain.

"Melissa." I held my hand out to shake his. "Fair, Lady Melissa. I am Thor Odinson of Asguard." Thor bent and kissed my hand.

"WHAT GUARD?!" I laughed, nearly spraying my wine out of my nose.


	2. Chapter 2

I yawned, stretching my arms out in exhaustion. Loud 'pops' sounded from my neck as I turned around. A black haired, green eyed, shirtless dude walked barefoot across the floor and started drinking from the milk carton.

"Uh, too late. I already did that." I shuffled over the cold tile. The guy spit out the milk, spraying it from his nose (Seem familar?) and wiped his mouth. "You've got to be joking." He groaned.

"Woah-ho-ho!" someone exclaimed. A man with a goatee pointed at the milk sprinkler. "You, are cleaning that up.".

"Eh? Why me? She's the one who made me do it!" The milk sprinkler accused me. "Stark! Loki! Don't make me come down there!" Natasha yelled from another room.

"Wait, who are you again?" Stark (Or Loki) asked. "Uh, house keeping!" I stammered in a scratchy voice. "Seems reasonable." He shrugged.

"She's lying." Thor corrected, coming out of nowhere. "She is here for 'community service'.".

I face palmed and glared at him. "Seriously?" I grumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

"And there's the village idiot." Natasha finished, pointing at Steve. "I thought that would be Thor." I chuckled, looking around.

Now I would have to start work. BORING! Seriously, it's the Avengers' tower!

_So__mething_ is bound to happen.

A loud alarm started blaring. "Meatloaf's done!" I yelled. "No, That alarm means fun." Loki said, crunching on dry cereal. "Dude, I got more milk from the store." I reminded him. He face palmed and threw the cereal at the wall.

"Come on people! Lets move! Move! Move!" Steve hollered, rushing around, grabbing his shield. I rolled my eyes and sat down. "Have fun!" I waved. "What are you doing? Where's your suit? Oh, nevermind. Just come on." Stark rambled.

I followed him out quickly, running beside Natasha when he flew into the air. "What's the situation?" I asked Loki. "Mutants threatening the New York Public Library." Barton snapped his fingers, trying to get me to focus. "Here is an earpiece. Keep it on at all times, we all have one. If you need help, call out."

I nodded. These guys were really serious. Everyone split into teams, leaving me an Loki staring up at a scufflling group of 'mutants' on the roof of the Library.

"Could you give me a lift?" I looked to Loki. He smirked, grabbed my belt and fazed to the rooftop.


	4. Chapter 4

"How exactly am I supposed to fight these mutants?" I asked, ducked away from a crumpled up piece of metal. "You don't have a gun on you!?" Tony chuckled. I paused for a moment and pulled a hand gun that had a dispensable bayonet at the end.

"You've got to be kidding me." Natasha sighed. "What? I didn't have to give back _all _the stuff I stole, did I?" I shot at a blue woman.

The woman hissed and dove at me. Her fingertips grazed my nose right before she was tackled to the side. A scruffy guy with claws was on the ground fighting her.

"Look out!" Steve side stepped a flying piece of metal, which was starting towards me. A puff of blue smoke surrounded me and I was on the other side of the building. Another blue person nodded to me and disappeared.

What was going on here!? Who was I supposed to hit? "We are on you're side." a voice in my head insisted. I shot at a man with a helmet on. "Hey, careful. He's on the good side, it's the other ones that we're shooting at." Loki stated. He reached for my gun to point in down, then grabbed it.

I looked across the roof and saw him fighting a mutant. I glanced back at the Loki in front of me. "It's OK. You can trust me, can't you?" He soothed. I noticed his finger inching down on the trigger of my gun. "Yeah," Loki smiled devilishly when I answered. "But not right this moment." I added, swinging around and kicking him in the face.

He smirked and wiped blood off the corner of his mouth. "Strong kid, But I'm stronger." Loki growled in a woman's voice.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki's skin changed blue and his hair turned red. The mutant crashed into me, clawing and growling. She held me up by my ponytail, as I lashed at her. "Poor Time Lord. Too bad there's nobody to save you now." She grinned and pointed the gun at my head.

"Mystique!" The old man with the helmet on halted her. "We need her, _alive_." Mystique grumbled and bashed me across the head, knocking me out.

* * *

*Blackout*

* * *

"Clear!"

. . .

"Clear!"

. . .

. . ! *Gasp!* I breathed in quickly.

"Come back to us, Mels. Come back to us." Muffled voices echoed in my ears, shadows of people flickered in front of my dazed eyes. When everything cleared up, Barton was patting the side of my face. "Hey, you okay kiddo?" He asked.

"Ugh. Get you're snout out of my face before I rearrange it." I grumbled. Barton backed off. "She's ok." He sighed. I tried sitting up, but a doctor held my head to the metal table. "Hey! What's going on here?" I growled. "Just running some tests." He stated. Another doctor held something to my heart and moved from left to right.

He looked up and nodded. "Sorry, Fury. But we're to have to take this one off you're hands." a nurse took out a needle with genetically engineered morphine. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hold up! Hey, watch it with that- guh...huh..." I mumbled. My whole person went numb.

Fury flickered his gaze from the doctors to me. "What exactly are you doing?" He demanded. "She's two heart beats." A nurse stated. Fury just chuckled and grabbed one of the doctors' wrist. "Now you let my agent go right now, before her friends get angry. And trust me, you don't want to see Bruce here get mad." He growled threateningly.

The doctors backed out of the room and someone burst in, and began yanking the needles out of my arms and hands. I winced as the figure sat me up and held me tightly in their arms. My vision cleared and I realized it was my Garret.

"Geh- Garret? That you, dude?" I groaned, weakly batting him away. "Yeah, how'd you know it was me?" Garret smiled. "You're the only guy I know who doesn't bathe himself in Axe body spray." I cracked a drowsy smile.

Fury settled his hand on Garret's shoulder. "Excuse me, son. But, who are you?" Garret frowned, I could see the gears in his head turning. "He's my partner, well, was. Also, my room mate... and" *sigh* "My brother." I rested my head in my hands, it was pounding extremely.

"Woah, wait. _You _have a brother?" Tony laughed. Garret glared up at him. "And what's that supposed to mean?" He said dangerously. "Oh, nothing. Just, I thought she wasn't really the family type." Tony raised a challenging brow.

I groaned in pain, clutching the sides of my head. Rogers look down in concern. "Is there anything you can do to help her, Bruce?" He glanced back up. Bruce stepped over next to me, inspecting my semptoms. He shook his head after a minute. "Nope. All we can do is let her alone for a while."

The Avengers, and company, nodded and mumbled agreement as the left the room.

* * *

I lay my head on my pillow and breathed out slowly. I heard the clang of the door opening. I pretended like I didn't hear it and turned, quickly reaching for my gun. I slipped it under my pillow and rolled back over, causing another wave of pain shoot through my head. I grimaced and clnched my teeth.

"Well, glad to see you're OK." A gruff voice rimmed with sarcasm echoed from the corner. "If you're here to kill me, please do. It hurts!" I grumbled. "You know, if i weren't working for the guy I am now, I just might take you up on that offer." He replied. A loud screech of metal shattered the next silence.

"Who are you?" I wondered out loud. "Me? I'm the Wolverine."


	6. Chapter 6

"Heh, What kind of name is Wolverine?" I chuckled, slightly wincing. "It's a codename. I don't condone on having a little kid knowing my name." He growled.

I held my gun in my hands, obviously for it to be seen. Wolverine didn't really seem to care, though.

"Professor only wanted me to see if you were alright." He mumbled. "Professor?' Why wouldn't I be alright though? It's just a bump on my head." I felt the bruise, the swelling had gone down, but it was still fresh.

"We didn't know what Mystique had injected you with." Wolverine turned on the lights in the room, blinding me for a second. I looked up, puzzled. He growled with impatience and continued. "After knocking you out cold, Mystique stuck a syringe in you," "What? Where?" I sat up and searched my arms frantically.

Wolverine smirked and poked my shoulder. "He says it doesn't seem like anything dangerous was put in your system, but maybe something was taken out." He half mumbled, half sighed to himself.

I looked down at the small pin point on my shoulder, somehow I knew what she poked me for. The knowledge was there, I just didn't acknowledge it. 'They took some of your DNA.' a voice in my mind stated.

"Gah! Get out of my head!." I yelled, my temples aching.

A team of security burst through the door, probably to see what the hollering was about. Wolverine hit them across their heads and walked away.

* * *

"What happened, exactly?" Rogers asked, pacing the floor and rubbing his chin. "He just came in to see if I was alright, then left to tell the 'Professor'." I explained for the hundredth time.

"Alright, alright. I think it's enough interrogation for tonight. Go brush your teeth, then lights out." Natasha chuckled, directing him to the corridor.

After most everyone had left, Loki sat down next to me and handed me some tea. "So, if she was a shape-shifter... How did you know she wasn't me?" He pondered.

I took a sip of my tea, still reading the book on my lap. "Easy, I didn't."

Loki's eyes were confused for a moment before he gathered his mind. "But, you tried to kill 'me'."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded my head.

Loki slowly got up and backed away from the couch, into the hallway.

"Hmm." I glanced around. 'Nobody to bother.'


End file.
